Sapphire Engagement Ring Antique, Engagement Ring, Advice Needed Please........ ?
Q.This past weekend - Valentines weekend - I proposed to my girlfriend and by proposed I mean took her to London, where we had a champagne cruise on the London Eye, a nice hotel room and dinner on the Orient Express where she was presented with a dozen red roses and that's when I proposed. She accepted and we were happy and stuff and then on Monday she told me the ring is too small and she wants me to change it. Now I am deeply hurt by this and feel like I have been slapped in the face. We have tried to talk about it but she just starts crying and telling me she's made her mind up and I can't seem to explain to her how I feel. I don't know why she feels the ring is so important but she has said that in her last marriage she always had to compromise to keep her husband happy and she's not going to do that this time. Now in my last marriage I worked myself to the bone to try and keep my wife happy and just ended up making myself ill instead so I'm not going to do that again. I should explain that up to this point we have been very happy together and she is a lovely lass so I don't believe she's a gold digger or anything like that.
A.Well, if it was just a matter of her not really liking the style/cut/setting, I'd say no big deal, change it. She'll be the one wearing it, don't get too tied to the specific ring, it's just an object and she might as well wear one she really likes. _However,_ if it's a matter of her wanting something bigger/more expensive/more elaborate to show off, which is what you state, then you're in for bigger troubles and this is a HUGE warning sign. Be prepared for everything you do not being 'enough' (big enough, expensive enough, etc etc). Is this really what you want for the rest of your life? A marriage isn't about one partner giving the other everything he or she wants, it's about working together and compromising when necessary. And if she doesn't understand that now, I'd suggest some relationship counseling NOW. ASAP. You CAN be very perfectly happily married without an engagement rind of any sort. It's not a requirement for marriage. Being on the same page about needs/wants/expectations and compromise IS a requirement for marriage. Warning bells. You are marrying someone for whom material goods are far more important than love and affection. Next it will be an expense car, expensive clothes -- things will have to be expensive, frequent and flamboyant otherwise you clearly don't love her enough. You will end up a meal ticket. Time to say, sorry, but if you can't accept my pledge with good grace, I'm off. On the other hand you were silly buying the ring without consulting her first. You might have had a ring-ding fight about it and been able to call it off without the up-front expense. It's possible you can both get what you want. If she is, say, focused on stone size you can get a different stone (sapphire, ruby) or a different quality. For instance, searching Blue Nile, if your range is $5400 to $5600 you can get anywhere from an almost perfect .66 caret diamond to a 1.39 caret not so perfect diamond. Just food for thought.
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