Engagement Ring - Diamonds Are For Suckers ?
Q.Let me tell you this from someone who did "everything right" for someone he thought loved him. I did the whole "two months" salary as a guide baloney. I really went over the top and paid over $9,000 for a Hearts-On-Fire diamond engagement ring. This ring was made of platinum, and had princess-cut baguettes on either side. She said "yes", and everything was right with the world - right? Wrong. It wasn't two months before she started "complaining" that the f------- ring wasn't big enough. The total carat weight was over 1 carat, but the center stone was only something like .85 carats. Now, most people probably don't know about Hearts-On-Fire diamonds. They are designer diamonds (they have a web page), that are cut perfectly so that they really sparkle like no other diamond. Really, the marketing isn't BS. The diamonds really shine, and are of a very good quality. She received raving compliments about the ring - it had a platinum band, diamond baguettes, and a Hearts-On-Fire center stone. It is an understatement to say that it sparkled like crazy. Why didn't she like it? Well, it was "too small." She really had her heart set on at least a 1.5 carat ring, she told me. And, she also told me that her friends rings were all much larger and she felt second-rate. Never mind the fact that her friends rings didn't have 10% the sparkle that her Hearts-On-Fire ring had, it just wasn't as big as theirs and there was no way in changing her mind about it.
A.Erk. The ring I asked for would have had less than half a carat in total, spread among 3-5 stones. My Mom never really had an engagement ring, and their original wedding rings cost $3 each at a hippy art faire. They're still married 32 years later, and said that if the size of the ring was any indication of how short a marraige would be, more people would be racing out to buy those $3 rings. Not all girls "just want a big stone"... but... You're right on the money there. My sweetie was a little worried because the ring I got was not the one I'd asked for. I told him that it didn't matter what it looked like, because it was the fact that it was from him that was important. In fact, the ring is stunning, unlike anything I'd have chosen, and much larger than anticipated, but it didn't have to be. Even more special because without his mother's blessing (a family piece of jewelry), the ring wouldn't have been mine in the first place. Anyone who is more worried about the size of their ring than the quality of the relationship has a lot of growing up to do. Unfortunately, "everything right" means research outside the diamond retail establishments. If she were that fixated on her friends' rings, she must have mentioned something about them. You may have chosen to ignore her preferences. Also, if she were being very judgemental about this gift, she may have also thrown up red flags about other gifts and you just ignored that, too. Before engagement, you must both do some soul searching and communicating. It's unfortunate you were "taken" by the whole diamond marketing blitzkreig, but if that's what you were listening to... We don't have rings, but our marriage is valid. We felt our guests were more important than a piece of jewelry we wouldn't like wearing anyway, so we put it toward the party.
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