Wedding Rings and the 50 Year Test ?
Q.We've been out looking at rings. We've found many rings that we both think are "nice." There are plain bands with etchings all the way around, or patterns. There are braids, or other intermixtures of metals. There are inset stones, graceful items with 4 curved sides, bands that have been hammered all over. Wide bands. Narrow bands. Thick and heavy. Thin and flimsy. Even one that looks like a washer from a hardware store--we call it the Home Depot ring. What we haven't found is anything other than a few plain gold bands that both of us can imagine we'll find intriguing and aesthetic when we are pushing 80--what we call the 50 year test. Yet we would both like something artistically inspired, and something that will continue to be inspirational. Is THE RING out there, just waiting for us to espy it in an obscure display case at the 47th jewelry store we straggle into? If we decide to get a ring that we both like, but don't *love*, will we grow to love it, or will we wish we had chosen more wisely? Or perhaps we should concentrate on choosing the right plain gold band, which would be better than what we've seen thus far, but not our ephemeral dream ring. What are the experiences of other ring wearers or ring shoppers? And why are the salespeople in jewelry stores so damn obsequious?
A.Have you considered finding a reputable jeweler who will make your rings to order? We have a very old and wonderful jewelry store in Louisville (Seng!!) that worked with my fiance to make my engagement ring (I had given him an over-all idea of what I wanted, and he and the jeweler came up with the final product--gorgeous!) and they are going to make a band to fit it, since a regular band won't. We have looked at rings for my fiance (he STILL hasn't settled on one yet!) and while he was getting sized and chatting with one saleslady, the owner (I presume) showed me all of the men's wedding bands and he pointed out ones that he created, plus some ideas and modifications he was willing to do for us, if we so chose. So, unless you want to come down here and order your rings ;-) , try to get recommendations from satisfied customers in your area--or, like you said, go from store to store trying to find good, decent and creative people to make you rings that are unique and tasteful that will please you for 50+ years. Oh, and about the situations in South Africa (yeah!) and Rwanda and Bosnia {*heavy sigh* :-( }, we are including the following in our general interessions for our ceremony: For all the nations of the world, that they may find peace and unity within themselves and also with each other, we pray... It's really hard to know what attitude you'll have about your ring after you're married and even harder to imagine 50 years later. I still really like my mother's wedding band which she got over 50 years ago. It's skinny and has seven little diamonds; she just happened to have seven kids, too! When I was getting married, I really wanted a diamond eternity ring--diamonds all the way around, but my husband was in a car accident only 2 1/2 months before our wedding and the car was totaled. It was bad timing to have to buy a new car, but we did. That put a serious dent in what he could afford for a wedding band. Gone was the idea of having stones of any kind. I really liked the all gold English bands that have gorgeous carved flowers. Even though it was no more than $50 more than a plain band--which seems *so* little now in retrospect, he said it was still too much. I desperately didn't want a truly plain gold band and convinced him that the gold band with the tiny little beading (very common style) for $10 more than ultra plain surely wasn't asking toooo much. (He did spend a few thousand on my gorgeous diamond engagement ring, so I really couldn't push terribly hard for an extra fancy wedding band.) I wanted a skinny band (a mere 2.5 mm wide) so that it wouldn't compete with the diamond which is set on a skinny band. The width of both bands together is a mere 3/16" which means the diamond really keeps center stage, as I wanted. Anyway, I do like my wedding band, but I don't think I have strong feelings about it. (I suppose I would find out if I lost it.) It's just not very exciting, though it is kind of pretty when it has been polished and is gleaming in the sun. I suggest you go to a store that has a really well stocked selection of magazines. There are English bridal magazines (maybe be Bride's international issue) that have gorgeous pictures of carved rings. They are much more beautiful than the "Art Carved" stuff in typical stores. Maybe you could order one if you liked it. Does your city have a jeweler's building that has wholesalers and some retailers? Those tiny little shops can have some great merchandise that one doesn't see in mall jewelry stores and at better prices. We got my band for under $100. Why are salespeople obsequious? Some are just blatantly out to please you to get your money. But once in awhile, they are really just like that. I wish you could meet the two middle aged blonde haired Polish sisters who sold us our bands and the diamond ring. They fawn all over you like *crazy*. They absolutely seem totally unreal. And with their Polish accents on top, they are just a scream. I don't know how many times one of them said in admiring a ring I'd picked out "Don't you just LOVE it?" (The "love" would always be drawn out, too.) If you are familiar with Alice's Adventures Through the Looking Glass and Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, these sisters were just like that. One would start a sentence and the other would finish it. They fawned all over my then-fiance, too. ("Don't you just *looooove* him?") The most amazing thing though was that they were like this even after we bought the rings! They just love quality stones and rings and show their exuberance. And for any of you who are in the Boston area, these folks are at Sisters Jewelers in the Jeweler's Building on Washington Street in Boston. We just loooooved them. :-)
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