Promise Rings (was Re: What is a traditional pre-engagement gift?)
Q.The only other thing I can possibly think of would be a promise ring, which is sometimes exchanged when a couple is committed to each other but not yet ready to be engaged (often due to age or financial concerns). What, exactly, is a promise ring?
A.My mom always said a promise ring meant you were "engaged to be engaged". My understanding is, it's a token that you will eventually take your relationship further but aren't ready to be engaged yet. Often people who are young (like high schoolers) will become "promised" instead of engaged, probably to keep their parents from having a coronary over their kids getting engaged at a young age (at least that was the case with one of my friends). Jewelry stores do sell promise rings which are small diamond solitares & not overly expensive, but I think one could also go with a nice birthstone ring or any other ring which would complement the woman's taste & style. I have a ring from my guy which, I suppose, functions as a promise ring (since we have agreed that we'll get married, but he doesn't want to officially pop the question until he finishes grad school). It's a narrow gold band which holds five small garnet hearts on top; these are in a tiered row such that the center one slightly overlays is neighbors, and those overlay the end hearts. It came from a jeweler at the local mall (wait, stop laughing already -- it was on sale, so he didn't pay an exorbitant price for it! :) ). It works well as a promise ring, because of the hearts (of course!), but also since it's small enough that I can wear it daily and not worry about it catching on things or getting too beaten up. Also, it avoids that Big Rock (tm) look that just doesn't seem appropriate (or practical) yet, it goes with most of my clothes, and it didn't cost a lot. Still, it's a symbol of us, and it makes me happy when I look at it. To us, that was the purpose of it. It's not a diamond, nor is it my (or his) birthstone; it's a lovely ring which suits me perfectly. At this point, I'm not sure if I really want a Big Engagement Ring when the time comes. I wear a large signet ring on my other ring finger, and I don't know where I'd put three big rings on my hands (which take a lot of abuse, as I'm a klutz). Hopefully, the eventual wedding band can happily cohabit with the garnet hearts on one finger.
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